web master or web mistress

The Original Web Master (or Web Mistress)?

This webmaster has the tools.  Look at that fat little ... is it a web mistress?  This is a European Cross Spider.  We see them every year in Washington state.  Can anybody tell me how you tell a male from a female spider?  I have no idea.  I've been assuming that this is a chubby little boy spider.

Here's a closeup of the underside of this same spider.  Are there standard webmaster guidelines for telling  whether this is male or female spider?  Where's an insect expert when you need one.  I think spiders are like boys and girls, but its crawlers like this that make the internet is a less safe environment for carnivorous insects.

This third photo is not the same spider, but another spider of the same species that was in our backyard.  

Here the webmaster enjoys the spoils of the bounty!  Har, mateys! When a spider eats it must first liquidate its food with enzymes.  Sometimes spiders are poisonous too!  Yo ho ho!  Spiders are kind of like pirates.  They live a life of hunting and killing.

Espero que disfruten de este video

¡Hola, amigos!
Espero que disfruten de este video.



Es difícil para mí cantar en español. Espero que puedan entender las palabras.
Yo soy un hombre lobo.

Gimme Cookies

I know you have cookies, because I can smell them.

Gimme!

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

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Turkey thinks life is good

LIFE IS GOOD

(I think)

Maybe you got everything going on.  Lots of parties and friends and everything.  Well, things may seem cool right now.  But wait a couple of months and everything could change.  Ask Tom Turkey how things are going in November, for example.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

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Advice from Lady Bug

LADY BUG'S ADVICE

A proper lady never does jumping jacks in a tube top.  So stop doing that ... or start doing that, whichever the case may be.

Jimmyjumpnjive

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California is for Bullies

California Sea Lions, that is!  Har har ... You could hear this group of goofballs from a long ways off ... barking at each other ... laying in the sun on an unusually sunny Oregon Coast day.

Newport, Oregon.  Saw lots of whales spouting off Depoe Bay.  Like a dozen of them in the span of a half of an hour.  You'd see the whale sprays out a couple of hundred yards from shore, then the fins surfacing.  Really awesome.  Lots of people parked and watching. 

I don't enjoy traveling by car, but I'll put up with the sore neck if someone else drives and there's cool stuff to see when we get there.  Will there be animals?  Will those animals be big and cute?  Oh, goodie!

But the sea lions (yes, the CALIFORNIA sea lions) were being mean and not letting a yearling get up on the dock to the lay in the sun.  So rude.  So mean.  Like Kassem G when he does those "Going Deep" things, just awful and rude.

Jimmyjumpnjive September 2012

I am doggy dress up

I am cute doggy!  I am doggy dress up!

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

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Cosmic Bulldog

Hey, it was time for a cute dog picture.  I hope you likey like it.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

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Obama an important non-partisan issue

For everyone, even people in Seattle ...

Hope the NFL Ref's lockout is settled soon.  People in Seattle, however, are still celebrating a home victory against Green Bay.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

 I MAKE REALLY CUTE VIDEOS TOO!

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MUSICAL CHAIRS FOR DOGS

RED DOG THE PIRATE

WALRUS BURPS THE ALPHABET

Fly Boy is hungry too

Sharing is caring ...

Just toss a couple of french fries over in Fly Boy's direction.  Fly Boy will pay it forward.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

 I MAKE REALLY CUTE VIDEOS TOO!

CLICK THE TITLES BELOW TO SEE MY AWESOME YOUTUBE VIDEOS:

MUSICAL CHAIRS FOR DOGS

RED DOG THE PIRATE

WALRUS BURPS THE ALPHABET

Arnold explains love baby to Maria Shriver

How do explain

a 14-year-old "love child" to your wife?

Ha!  Don't even try! Hahaha

How did Arnold Schwarzenneger explain his love child to wife, Maria Shriver?  The answer is -- not very well.  There is no good explanation.  Can't be done.  Impossible.  Ask Arnold if you don't believe me.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

The photo used above has been released into the public domain by the original author.

Romney: Zombie Apocalypse shall commence now

Running out of ideas and time, the Romney campaign attempted a diversion tactic to delay the election.

Photograph by Gage Skidmore.  This photograph was thereafter altered by Jimmyjumpnjive as allowed for in accordance with a Creative Commons License Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0.  Future use of this image is allowed under the same Creative Commons license with attribution due to Gage Skidmore as modified by Jimmyjumpnjive.  Peace and love.  Remember to laugh.

More of Mr. Skidmore’s work can be found at:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gageskidmore/  
and
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Gage

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

Fly Boy treats the kids to a nine course meal (Gross Out)

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

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RED DOG THE PIRATE

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Start Partying Now Says Fly Boy

FLY BOY HATES TO WAIT

Fly Boy Called You a Wuss!

Fly Boy Thinks You Can't Handle Your Liquor!

Fly Boy is Saying That You Party Like a Light-Weight!

Fly Boy wants you to puke sooner, so that Fly Boy's party starts as soon as possible!

Go ahead, commence partying.  Fly Boy is waiting.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

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MUSICAL CHAIRS FOR DOGS

RED DOG THE PIRATE

WALRUS BURPS THE ALPHABET

Circling the drain of death

Care to Circle the Drain of Death?

Spiders are Amazing!

This was a young spider, hence the translucence.  And this little spider had a nice web set up to catch food.  It reminded me of ice fishing, the way he had his web set up, like he had a crib and a way to provide for his spider-self.

This was just a quick shot in the backyard ... This shot could have been a lot cooler if I had cooler equipment, but it's still pretty cool like it is. IMHO

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

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MUSICAL CHAIRS FOR DOGS

RED DOG THE PIRATE

WALRUS BURPS THE ALPHABET

Paul Ryan picks Mitt Romney for the win

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What is going on in Paul Ryan's mind these days?  Is he ready to gag Mitt Romney for six weeks and hope upon hope that quieting Romney will lift the Republicans' sinking ship?

What would you do if you were Paul Ryan?  Switch sides?  Call time out?  Call do-over?

Romney seems bent on imploding and, like Pawlenty, the rats can tell the boat is in trouble.  It's time to shove some gear in a life boat and row away from the wreckage before it sucks you down as it sinks.

Paul Ryan is a stand up buy.  He's a politician (which means he's an actor with half a brain), but he seems to be able to do the right thing.  Right now the right thing seems to be, stand back and watch Romney destroy himself.

Whether he's in London, Boca Raton or Mexico, Romney has an innate sense of doing exactly the opposite of what he needs to be doing.  And Romney was a successful business man?  How?

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

Image/caricature by Flickr member Donkeyhotey.  This photograph was thereafter altered by Jimmyjumpnjive as allowed for in accordance with a Creative Commons License Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0.  Future use of this image is allowed under the same Creative Commons license with attribution due to Donkeyhotey as modified by Jimmyjumpnjive.  Peace and love.  Remember to laugh.

Donkeyhotey is an independent visual artist, seeking a steady gig.  More of Donkeyhotey’s work can be found at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/donkeyhotey/

Batman Bee Joins Youtube Network

Major Buzz on Hive Street

Batman Bee Signs Network Contract

Buzzilion Dollar Signing Bonuses!

Internet Famous Batman Bee

I was looking at some of the Youtube Networks.  Initially, I was ready to join one as soon as possible.  I held off, though, and I think I'll wait for a while longer.  Right now it looks like a numbers game, sort of like the first day of a big poker tournament.

Revision3, Fullscreen, Maker, RPM Network, Machinima, TGN, VidcastLLC, Curse, Polipop. The names are pretty well known by now.  There are many blogs that identify the many networks, some of the blogs even speculate which are best.  The problem is that any opinion as to the relative strengths of Youtube networks is pure speculation. Of course, any network is going to say that their network is the best and will do the most for you.

Bee Hits the Youtube Pollen Jackpot

It's like picking a pony at the horse races. How do you compare one network to another?  Which networks are going to still be around in two years?  What if you pick the wrong one?  

On the other hand, what if you pick the right one and they market your killer videos and make you internet famous?  It's tough to say what the network will do for you.  Especially if you're a small low-budget content producer (like me).  Especially if you're not located near Los Angeles (like me).

Can't get enough of that Google Stuff

If I were a gamer this would be an easy decision.  I have always thought that gaming channels were a waste because it was so hard to get commercial use rights.  If I was a small gaming channel now I'd jump on any network offer because it takes that problem off the table.  

"Go monetize your gaming channel."  That's what Google and its associated networks are saying right now.  Do it before the holiday shopping season starts.  When there are suddenly 50,000 new monitized game playing partners, I think the RPM will go down ... would that surprise anyone? It will go down in proportion to the number of new partners and their views.

Batman Bee Bets Big on the Banana Network ...           But when you have a quirky Youtube presence (like me), well ...  I'm just waiting for the market to calm down.  I can wait it out.  I have all the partner features from Youtube already.  But it would be nice to have network opportunities, gigs, support and whatever else a network could offer. 

CLICK HERE TO GO TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Bug Business Model Booming ...  I have always tried to make content that might have a shelf life longer than ten minutes, and I've gathered quite a quantity of content.  So, I'll worry about doing the network thing if it starts to look like I need to worry about it.

Ultimately the best Youtube advice is to make videos about things you love, so that -- whether you make money or not -- you will enjoy what you create and you will connect with people who share your interests.  That, not networks, is the point of Youtube.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

Why did you buy me flowers

FLOWER POWER

I bought flowers for you.  Nice, huh?  

You're welcome.  But why did I buy you flowers and what am I trying to say?

Flowers, when given as a gift, have meaning.  Literally.  For example, when you give a red rose to someone, it means, "I love you."  Most would agree with that statement.

A thornless rose means, "Love at first sight."  A yellow rose means jealousy or a decrease in love.

Give someone white camellias when you think that person is adorable.  Give them pink camellias when  you will never forget them.  Give a person yellow camellias if the person has disappointed you.

Red poppies for pleasure.  Cheer someone up with white poppies.  But wish someone wealth and success with yellow poppies.

The flowers above mean that I find you interesting and I want to get to know you better.  Peace and love and flowers.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

Jimmyjumpnjive is devoted to peace, love and puppies.  An old furry, an ent, an aged hippy freak with nothing but a song of love in his heart.  

Jimmyjumpnjive on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/user/Jimmyjumpnjive

Play and have fun.  Party with friends.  

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Attack of the Giant Killer Spiders from Mars

When the Giant Spiders from Mars Attack ...

This will be the last thing you will see.

I'm sort of warming up for Halloween, you know.  I've got all these creepy spider pictures and nothing to do with them.  

Being killed by a gigantic spider is terrifying, that's the bad news.  But the good news is that it's a relatively quick way to go.  Relatively.  Here's a choice for you, would you rather be killed by a shark or a giant spider?

That is one of the worst choices ever conjured in the human mind.  It's like, which would you rather, break both arms or break both legs.  Would you rather be terrified on land or at sea?  A really crummy choice.

CLICK HERE How about a cool spider video?  CLICK HERE

If that's too much for you, click here to see a ...

FUNNY HALLOWEEN VIDEO

Homemade content, made with love.  Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

Mitt Romney secret video reaction

Hey, look mom.

I pissed off 47% of all Americans with just three sentences.

Mitt Romney has a rare talent for gaffes and arrogant statements.  Few people could irk half of America with a few words spoken to "supporters" a couple of months ago at fundraising event, but our guy Mitt was able to accomplished this mission before most of America had finished eating breakfast this morning.

Yes, he addressed the content of the remarks, clarifying that he really meant what he said even though he didn't say it very well.  Oh, and he did mention that word, "context."  But basically what he said was that 47% of all Americans were government subsidy addicts who would vote for Obama just to keep the government gravy river flowing.  According to the Rominator, those voters looked to the government for food, shelter, medical care and just about everything else.

Such people, according to the Mittster, were never to be swayed from the Democratic candidate, so what the Republican candidate proposed was to work on the undecided Independents in an effort to defeat Obama.

It's troubling that Mitt Romney would look at those less fortunate than him as freeloaders.  Without a doubt, the guy is part of the 1%. His dad was the CEO of an American automobile company.  Dude has never had to ask anyone (other than his dad) for anything.

And while he spoke a message to the monied Right last Spring, he never expected those words to be recorded and replayed at this point in the game.  What was his real reaction to this breaking story? (See the photo above.)

Publicly he did what he always does when he pulls a gaffe -- duck and cover, hit the ground and roll until the flames go out.  Tap dancing to exit stage right.  Remember remarks after the Libya gaffe?  What a fool.

But just when most of America had almost forgotten (or suppressed the memory of) Romnoid's seriously flawed Libya comments, here he is again, spouting stupid and dividing America rather than uniting it.

How did this guy ever survive in private industry?  I guess that Bain must have had hired mouth pieces and publicists to handle this sort of "public message" stuff that Mitt sucks so badly at.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

Photograph by Gage Skidmore.  This photograph was thereafter altered by Jimmyjumpnjive as allowed for in accordance with a Creative Commons License Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0.  Future use of this image is allowed under the same Creative Commons license with attribution due to Gage Skidmore as modified by Jimmyjumpnjive.  Peace and love.  Remember to laugh.

More of Mr. Skidmore’s work can be found at:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gageskidmore/  
and
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Gage

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE LAND OF THE DUMB DOG TRICK

Super bugs announced again on slow news day

HEY!  What should we do on a

SLOW NEWS DAY?

Stronger than an antibiotic, more powerful than a speeding Buick, able to spread germs with a single bound. It's ...

Look, over there on the potato salad, 

it's Super Fly Boy.

Every couple of months, they come up with another "Super Bug" story.  Today's story was about how terribly difficult it is to predict an outbreak of superbug stuff. CLICK HERE TO SEE THIS STORY on YOUTUBE.

Even before the rash of bed bug stories, there were Super Bug stories.  It's a science fiction narrative that's been written many times, diseases with no cure, viruses that have become immune to antibiotics, threatening the existence of mankind.  Oh my!  I believe the first one I was aware of was called, "The Andromeda Strain."

I guess it's a story, but it's not exactly new news.  It's more like recycled news or reconfigured journalistic leftovers.  

So, why am I talking about it?  I jumped into this non-news news story just for the purpose of proposing a spokes-bug for the Super Bug news -- Super Fly Boy!  He's buff.  He's hairy.  He has no social media or SEO staff.  He gargles with penicillin every morning ... it's Super Fly Boy! 

The news media has to sell newspapers.  I think the birthday of the Occupy movement didn't pan out news-wise as big as it was supposed to ... so they had to come up with some news.  Occupy fizzled ... 100 protesters versus 300 riot police is not news.   Hmmm, how about some SUPER BUG news.  

What's a super bug?  It's not a bug at all.  It's more like a disease that has become stronger, and immune to antibiotics, which then makes the bugs "super."  At least to the guy who writes the headlines on a slow news day. 

Any day that the Associated Press does a video on super bugs is probably a slow news day.  Nobody would trot out a "super bug" story if REAL news was happening.  But what if diseases were rampantly spreading across the Earth with no cure in sight ... most of us wouldn't believe it.  The news media has cried wolf on this one way too many times.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

Please accept that this is a humor blog created with the intent of entertaining people.  If you find what I said offensive today, you might agree wholeheartedly with me tomorrow.

Jimmyjumpnjive is devoted to peace, love and puppies.  An old furry, an ent, an aged hippy freak with nothing but a song of love in his heart.  

Jimmyjumpnjive on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/user/Jimmyjumpnjive

Play and have fun.  Party with friends.  

A SUPER COOL VIDEO
Musical Chairs for Dogs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIDXLJLvZcY

Fly Boy loves a picnic

Everybody loves a picnic

especially Fly Boy!

You make the potato salad, the deviled eggs, the little ham sandwiches on the little dinner rolls, all the stuff that everybody loves at a picnic.  But who is most excited about it?  The guys?  The kids?

Hahaha, nope!  It's Fly Boy!  He's waiting in the wings, scoping out the moment when he can swoop down and infiltrate the potato salad, play in the deviled eggs, dip his toes in a cool glass of lemon aid.

Nobody likes a picnic as much as Fly Boy ... expect perhaps Adam Ant.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

Jimmyjumpnjive is devoted to peace, love and puppies.  An old furry, an ent, an aged hippy freak with nothing but a song of love in his heart.  

Jimmyjumpnjive on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/user/Jimmyjumpnjive

Play and have fun.  Party with friends.  

A SUPER COOL VIDEO
Musical Chairs for Dogs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIDXLJLvZcY

Beer, Boobs, Tattoos and Silliness

I wander around and take pictures ....

These photos are from the Pint of Tacoma, an event held in downtown Tacoma in August of 2012.

Here's the view from inside the beer garden (where I spent all my time).  Everything I wanted was there ...

I saw this nice lady from across the walkway.  I was attracted to her smile, personality and the red devil woman tattoo on her arm.  I waddled over to her and asked her if I could take a picture of her tattoo.  She smiled and asked me which one ...

Because she had an angel tattooed on her other arm.  She was nice.  Cool lady.  A lovely girl to meet at a beer garden.  Peace to you pretty sister.

I don't know what kind of beer this was, but the label was cool.  Can you imagine ordering this?  Yeah, uh, I'll take a glass of that beer there with the nasty looking demon on the can ... chug a couple of these and I'd probably turn into a white rascal.

I love titties and beer!  This brand of beer is pronounced "uni-brow" like if you got one eyebrow that goes all the way across your forehead. I got one of those.  I got that on the top of my ears too.

Beer antlers front.

Beer antlers back.  

This dude was a gas, thanks!

They even had a dog with a beer on its side.   I don't drink but I'd almost make an exception for a beer with a dog on its label.

And a skeleton tap guy.  Freaky!  He was a good sport too.

This is my tattoo.  This is my motto.  Shit Jim, this is my mantra. Write this in magic marker across my forehead and use my unibrow to underline it.  When I arrived at the beer garden, I said to myself, "I'd tap that ... and that ... and that..."  

Can you believe that they started karaoke at like 2:00 in the afternoon.  And that was because I made Colin start so that I could butcher a Nancy Sinatra song (and go home and take a nap).  

Folks seemed pretty well lubed by that time.  I was home by 4:00.  

I'd have to imagine there were some pretty wasted folks by the time this event ended that evening.  Good for them, huh?  Living the good life in Washington with some cold beer, music and sunshine.  Next year I hope to attend again and take even more pictures of beer and boobs.

JIMMYJUMPNJIVE

Fly Boy doing your mom

FLY BOY IS A MOFO!

Hey, if Fly Boy didn't do your mom, who would? Really, like nobody.  Wouldn't happen.  Never.  Nope.  Zilch.  Which means that the brain trust at Hippy Dippy Entertainment believes that Fly boy is performing a community service.  Go Fly Boy!  Get 'er done!

With Fly Boy around everyday is Mother's Day!  

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

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Friday night with Fly Boy

What's worse than being alone on a Friday night?

Getting dumped by Fly Boy!

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 JIMMYJUMPNJIVE 

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