Eating Glasses (Dumb Dog Trick #277)

You walk into the kitchen and what do you see?  Chewed up household items!

What, that doesn't happen to you too?  Happens to me more times than I like to admit.

Zoozoo can gain access to the kitchen garbage with a push of her nose.  It gets too tempting for her when it gets full.  But nothing prepared me for a chewed up glass.

So, she made me an art present, right?  Chewed holes in a plastic cup with surgical precision so that I can make a necklace out of it.

It's like why, why would a dog do this?  And I'm like, who cares why, how can I make her do more stuff like this?  Gonna get this bronzed.  Call me Proud Daddy.

I collected glassware for years.  I have lots of collectible glasses.  But I drink out of cheap plastic cups, and I use those cups until they are completely and totally unusable.

Yeah, well the plastic cups and some of my favorite comfort glassware, like mason jars for drinking juice, like just some garage sale stuff that's pretty funky.  Fireking especially.  About half our kitchenware never sees the inside of the dishwasher.  I got some funky coffee cups, thank you very much.  A funky cup makes cafe taste so much better.

When you use vintage stuff on a daily basis you will have breakage, but it's worth it to appreciate a finely made Russell Wright serving platter, a Coors pottery coffee cup, or an arrangement of flowers in an oversized Red Wing vase.

Peace and Love and Household Goods

Jimmyjumpnjive April 2012

Pistons Pumping

It seems only a matter of time before the internal combustion engine will a memory.  Break the addiction to fossil fuels, I say!

But I will miss the big classic hunks of American metal.  You know what I'm saying, them big old eight-bangers.  Pushing down the gas pedal was like throwing gasoline on a moving fire.

Recently I had a chance to photograph a couple of classic American cars.  A 1969 Mercury Marquise and a 1967 Mercury Comet.  Both in beautiful, well loved and well driven condition.

These vehicles were going up for sale by the original owner.

Years from now
No one will know
What's it's like to light 'em up
with a V8 Ford

Pistons Pumping
Carburator Carburating
I Got an Eight Banger Kicking up some
Carburation

Years from now
no one will know
what it's like getting heavy
in the back of a '57 Chevy

Pistons Pumping
Carburator Carburating

Jimmyjumpnjive April 2012

If not for Iggy Pop and the Stooges, it is highly unlikely that I would have ever tried to learned to play the guitar or write songs. It was their first album, "Search and Destroy" that got me.

I was a teenager in Spokane, Washington, listening to rebellious music -- the Sex Pistols, the Ramones, David Bowie.  Soon there would be other great bands like the Talking Heads.  What I'm talking about is punk and new wave.

What seemed to set Mr. Pop apart from just about anyone else in the world was that he just seemed to think that everyone was full of crap.  And, you know, he's right.  It's not if someone is full of crap, the question is what kind of crap are they full of?

Oh, yes, and I am as full of crap as anyone.

Pistons Pumping

Pure Light and Energy (The Snail)

A simple snail in my backyard garden.  A little friend.  A fellow adventurer on Earth.

The light of the sun in Western Washington sparkled through the little being.  What do you call those things on his head, antennas or something?  So totally delicate and beautiful.

I would love to paint my kitchen the color of this little snail. Brush marks and all.  I would love to have the purity of intention and crystalline light energy of this little one.

Years ago I moved into a little house next door to J.Z. Knight, who channels an energy called "Ramtha."  Never felt a single bit of energy the whole time I lived there.  Literally, she was our next door neighbor in her compound.

But I would get a little freaked out when my old farm dog, Ranger, would jump the property line and get interested in J.Z.'s horses. Expensive thoroughbred horses.  Ranger = the mayor of muttsville. Hahaha

About two years later I took a photograph of J.Z. with Barbara Evans at a book signing.  I felt some energy that time, I'd tell you, crazy energy.  The ladies made me nervous.  My legs were shaking.  It was not a good experience.  In all fairness, I really thought it might have just been me being a nervous freak, so I shrugged it off.  It wasn't the first time I've gotten the shakes when talking to pretty women.

More recently I was in a building associated with the Margaret McElroy Center for Intuitive Studies, and I have to report that the energy I felt in that building was awesome.  A really strong, clean and inspiring energy.  Like a clean perpetual fountain of renewing energy.  I could soak that energy up like a sponge.  In fact I think that's what I did.

So, as I was checking out Lucky the snail in my backyard, the light and everything just really caught the essence of a pure creature.

And it leads to the question what light and energy do you emit?

Jimmyjumpnjive April 2012

This video was made using an iPhone 4s with an Olloclip lens attachments. (The Olloclip is a cool toy, and does some awesome stuff.) It was edited in iMovie.  A separate musical thang was created in the Apple program Garageband, when was then combined with the video images back in iMovie.

Dog Lawyer

Talk to my lawyer, a photo by Jimmy Jump on Flickr.

My client, Mister Red Dog, denies the allegations and resents the alligators. Grrr

Via Flickr:

The Thief (Dumb Dog Trick #275.3)

Yes, this is Dumb Dog Trick #275 (point 3), meaning that it is the third "dumb dog trick #275."  Why?

Ah, heck, why not?  The number 275 is a cool enough number.  I'm trying to force a colloquialism -- "That's was really dumb.  What was it?  Dumb dog trick #275?"

Yeah, soon school children all around the world will be using this phrase to address their elders, church leaders, and politicians.  Chunks of history will be renamed according to series of Dumb Dog Tricks, such as the Republican Debates will forever after be known as Dumb Dog Tricks No. 254 through 297.

Wait for it.  Wait for it. Another actor jumps the shark.  Another politician shows appalling disregard to others -- Dumb, Dumb, Dumb Dog Trick!

The only problem is that it's time to get a pony in here, cause we already done seen the dog show.

It will synonymous with the word "fail."  Although the original, as shown in this video, is not a fail at all.  It is a cute Red Dog win.  It is a Red Dog victory.  How do you submit stuff to Cute Win Fail?  Cause this is a dumb dog trick win, for crying out loud.

Red Dog is the king of pizza napkin land.  What more could a little border collie want?

That, of course, is my son.  I believe this video was taken at about four in the afternoon.  I think he stayed up late watching the Mariners play the opening day of baseball in Japan.  What a schmuck.  FIrst pitch at 3 a.m.

What's kind of amazing to me is the advanced thought process.  Clearly Red Dog is on the hunt for remains, but he sneaks up upon his prey with such stealth, hardly waking my semi conscious, money sucking college student son.

Why do I do dumb dog tricks?  Why not?

These videos are a sort of video/song journal of ideas and thoughts and double entendres, but always fairly clean cut and ready for the whole family to watch.

Like Sneaky, Sneaky Red Dog here.  Yeah, nobody knew he was going for garbage next to the side of the bed ... probably was a four a.m. pack of garlic fries with a frozen pizza.  Nice. Rally Fries, baby!

We will find that napkin shredded under the bed, of course.  No surprises there.

Jimmyjumpnjive April 2012

Your Ad Here

Your Ad Here, a photo by Jimmy Jump on Flickr.

About a dozen years ago I started a small non-for-profit with some like-minded friends. Earlier today we were discussing our budget for the year. It's not dire, and we have some really awesome sponsors, but we do have some premium advertising properties available to interested parties. Principals only.

Dog Friendly (Canine Thirst Quencher)

Tacoma Metro Parks built this kid play area, which is totally awesome, and part of it is a water park.  I don't go to this park very often, but today I noticed that it had like the coolest dog water fountain I had ever seen.

Now that's dog friendly!

Dog friendly places are where you know it's okay to have your dog, so long as your dog is okay with whatever else might be there.  You know what I'm saying?

It's like when I walk my dog, I know which houses have dogs and probably don't mind if my dog makes a little wee wee on their lawn.  (I always pick up the #2.)  I know which houses are dog friendly.  Hey, yeah, and I know which ones aren't!

The entire world is like that.  To find the dog friendly places, sometimes you have to look for them and sometimes they just surprise you.

Did you know that fancier hotels in the US are more likely to allow dogs?  Yep.  Think about little old ladies with teacup pooches in their purses.  Cheap American hotels won't let you have your dog there ... fancy hotels will.  Not always, but most of the time.

And the dog/fancy hotel works with larger dogs.  Many times I have had to upgrade the hotel to find one that's dog friendly.  I should add that this rule applies in all places BUT Canada. But in Canada a cheap hotel is likely to allow dogs.  Don't know why that is.

It's also easier to fly with your dog in Canada, so long as you depart from Canada.  So, I used to drive up to Vancouver and fly over to Calgary, rather than fly from Seattle to Calgary.

Dogs enjoy wide-spread acceptance in Canada, within reason.

When you get a dog, though, it's like the rest of your life consists of bouncing from one dog-friendly place to another.    From your house, to the dog park, etc.

Ah, heck, though I do have to admit that I appreciate the City of Tacoma putting this dog fountain in.  It's in the park behind Norpoint Center.  If you know Northeast Tacoma, you probably know where this is.

My dog's name is Zoozoo, and she is a Rhodesian Ridgeback mix.  If she is an indication of the breed, this is not a good breed for the novice dog owner.  She's a handful.  She would chase cars and scare people if I let her.  I don't let her.

Anyway, she gets doggone thirsty when we play frisbee at the park.  Just saying.

Jimmyjumpnjive  April 2012

Ants in My Pants (What Should I do?)

I'm a jumping fool
I got ants in my pants

I ought to drop and roll
while I have the chance

Dance on the table
like some dude from France

Dance, dance, dance
like you got ants in your pants

Like nobody is looking
Like you own the dance floor

Act like you stopping
Then dance some more

Circle forms around you
they yell, "more! more! more""

Dance, dance, dance
like you got ants in your pants

Itching in the kitchen
itching in the hall

Itching all over
from my feet to my skull

Itching little buggers
itching litte bugs

Ants, ants, ants
in my pants

So, why do we say that, "You got ants in your pants?"  It's like you can't sit still.

I'm sort of like that.  I like to stay busy, doing stuff, taking pictures, working.  I have trouble sitting down for any period of time.

I guess the "ants in your pants" line also means you're just acting weird. Huh, am I acting weird?  Creepy?  Ah, not really.

Enjoy the small things in life.  Be easily entertained and life passes much more merrily.

Jimmyjumpnjive April 2012

Happy Easter (Punk Rock Style)

Happy Easter.  Happy Hot Cross Buns!

Of course, I can't just say, "Happy Easter," and be done with it.  No, no!  I have to make an alternative Easter punk rock greeting card.  Who will every want to watch this?  Punks? No.  Catholics?  No.  Oddballs?  Perhaps.

Anybody know any oddballs?  If so, please forward this video to them.  Maybe they'll understand my rebound on the whole Easter bunny thing.

First, I got nothing against chocolate footballs and jelly beans.  Love 'em.  Don't need a special holiday to serve those in the Jump Household.  We might grind 'em all up and make ice cream or cookies with them.  How's that sound?

Where's my audience?  Where's my call to action?  is the audience just supposed to eat or get hungry or what?

Hahaha... yeah, like I care.  But I will gripe a little bit.  They sure don't do easter like they used to do easter.  I have memories of poorly fitting shoes, unbearably long Catholic services, and Grandmas who spit on their hanky and try to wipe the mole off the side of my face.

Yeah, yeah, happy easter.  Anyway, these were old school hot cross buns.  They had the little bits of fruitcake in them.  They were so old skool that I really didn't like 'em.  They reminded me of every fruitcake I couldn't stand to eat.

But very German, nonetheless.  Ameri-German, I would think.  I don't mean that in bad way or anything, Germans are awesome.  They are very friendly and warm.  They're great.  I mean it in like the old hold-over German bakery sense.  They're getting harder to find.

Whatever.  The crosses are for Jesus.  Nobody would dispute that.

Jimmyjumpnjive

Blue dog with blue dog

Blue dog with blue dog, a photo by Jimmy Jump on Flickr.

Back when Blue Dog was famous in Canada, this awesome Calgarian dude made a little statute of him for me. I lost the little frisbee that used to go in his mouth.

Via Flickr:
Back when Blue Dog was famous in Canada, this really awesome dude in Calgary made a ceramic statue of Blue Dog. And I still have it. I lost the little frisbee that used to hang out of his mouth.

Cup Check (Dumb Dog Trick #275)

Yes, there is more than one "dumb dog trick #275."  And, yes, when I discovered this I immediately contacted Hippy Dippy Entertainment and Dumb Dog Tricks International to see what the deal was.

For eight hours all I got was a "woof a message" deal on the telephone.  Later that night, while riding in my chauffeur driven Bently, I pondered the future of my association with HipDipEnt and whether the situation was beneficial.  We've certainly had our ups and downs lately, ask anyone.

When we arrived at DDT Int'l headquarters, Red Dog was attempting to get the last slather of raspberry milkshake from a waxed paper cup.  Cell phone in hand, instant memories.  Instant Dumb Dog Trick.  

Another man would disciplined the dog.  Another man would have taken the cup away from Red Dog and put his silly dog butt out in the backyard.  Another man never would have let this happen.

"I grabbed my cell phone and started filming."  Jim Jump (Annals of Dumb Dog Tricks Volume 7, page 142 (1973 ed.)).

It wasn't Red Dog's fault that someone left half a milkshake unattended in the living room.  Heck, I might have drunk it myself if I had found it first.

Goes to show.  One man's diamond is another man's coal.  Red Dog is my little diamond boy.

Love him forever.  He's not a bad dog. Who keeps saying that Red Dog is a bad dog?

April 2012 Jimmyjumpnjive