you are nothing

You are nothing! Observed in a shop window in the downtown area of Portland,  Oregon.  Valentines Day 2013.  You are nothing ... without feminist art.  I had to agree strongly.  That's correct!   I would be nothing without feminist art.  Not really, but maybe.  I guess.  Is that a weird thing to have to admit?  This is the reason why I must move to Portland, Oregon.   These questions must be investigated, considered and decided in a fair and objective manner over a nice meal and a long weekend.  Cheers to all!

CLICK HERE TO SEE A COOL DOG TRICK VIDEO!!!

Advice for ladies in the modern age

LADY BUG SAYS:

All proper ladies know that it is not proper to share your crack pipe with strangers.  Friends and family only. It's really important for hygiene, and to avoid any appearance of impropriety.  

If you girls are confused about this or any other rules relating to manners, hygiene or personal safety, just ask Lady Bug.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

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Fly Boy Tries Health Food

One day Fly Boy was cruising the neighborhood.  He saw some bees buzzing the flowers and taking pollen.

"Hey," yelled Fly Boy.  "Is that stuff any good?"

"Of course it's good," the bees told him.  "It's the healthiest food on Earth and it's super tasty."

"Health food."  Fly Boy said this to himself with a note of sarcasm.  Fly Boy hated health food.  What next colonics and vitamin supplements?  Fly Boy turned to fly away.

"Where you think you're going?" asked the biggest of the Bees, as he flexed his bee muscles and pointed his stinger at Fly Boy.  "Eat some pollen first."

"Uh, sure," said Fly Boy, trying to be cool.  "Yeah, pollen is great stuff, yeah."

It tasted like dirt mixed with cheese and chalk.  Fly Boy struggled to choke it down.  "What I wouldn't give for some fermented Yak urine," Fly Boy thought to himself.

"How you liking that pollen?" asked the bees.

"Gak!" replied Fly Boy.  It might be healthy for bees, Fly Boy thought to himself, but no manly fly would eat this stuff on a daily basis.  

"My best to your queen," yelled Fly Boy.  Under his breath he muttered, "I hope she chokes on it."

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

This blog, the photos contained herein and all words, captions or descriptions, is a blatant attempt at humor.   Concepts such as truth or reality are not allowed to conflict with punchlines.    Please accept that this is a humor blog created with the intent of entertaining people.  If you find what I said offensive today, you might agree wholeheartedly with me tomorrow.

Jimmyjumpnjive is devoted to peace, love and puppies.  An old furry, an ent, an aged hippy freak with nothing but a song of love in his heart.  

Jimmyjumpnjive on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/user/Jimmyjumpnjive

Play and have fun.  Party with friends.  

A SUPER COOL VIDEO
Musical Chairs for Dogs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIDXLJLvZcY

Animal rescue and fosters rule my world.  Make the world a better place bit by bit, act by act, word by word, deed by deed.

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AWESOMENESS: Sunbeams and Moonwalks (Dumb Dog Trick #265)

AWESOMENESS: 

Sunbeams and Moonwalks (Dumb Dog Trick #265): 

What is a sunbeam? What is this magic place of a world we live in? "Electro-mangetic radiation," some people would say. "The sun...

 "The sun light," most would say. (as in, "Duh, sunlight.") I say,

My open letter to the planet:

The sun and moon are my guiding principles. The ocean is more powerful than the combination of the earth, the wind and the sky. My place is here and my time is now.

The truth shall emerge as people age in general and wisdom and responsibility take over the leadership of the continents. Some day we shall all be equal in language, equal in importance and equal in dignity.

Tragedy will befall us all within our lives, but it is in others that we will find strength and help if needed. The incidence of tragic incidents will decrease with the modernization of public transportation systems. The pulse of the earth shall be felt on its rail system and in the advanced versions of navigation and traffic synchronization systems.

The weary who make it to this new world shall survive and flourish. For it is in this next stage of the Earth's existence that true understanding of concepts such as compassion, empathy, religion and medical care shall transform our existence.

Indoor gardening, water beds and Grateful Dead Television will become very popular. Until that time arrives, however, I think I'll pass the time by making dumb dog trick videos.

Jimmyjumpnjive

February 9, 2012

ATHEIST DUCK: Chicken Season

Rabbit Season. Duck Season. Rabbit Season ...

click here for a REALLY FUNNY VIDEO!

Yeah, I’m late to the party on the whole Chick fil A thing, but I live in Seattle.  We don’t have Chick fil Aholes here.  Really.  None.

Same sex marriage is a divisive issue.  But rights are things that apply to all, not just some of us.  As our American Constitution requires, all people should have equal protection under the laws.  There is no straight or gay in the constitution.  ALL PEOPLE.  EQUAL RIGHTS.  It’s as easy as that.  As usual, we can agree to disagree, but you probably ought to check your chicken sandwich before you eat it if you put up too much of a ruckus about it.


click here to visit the land of the dumb dog trickJimmyjumpnjive August 2012

Ants in My Pants (What Should I do?)

I'm a jumping fool
I got ants in my pants

I ought to drop and roll
while I have the chance

Dance on the table
like some dude from France

Dance, dance, dance
like you got ants in your pants

Like nobody is looking
Like you own the dance floor

Act like you stopping
Then dance some more

Circle forms around you
they yell, "more! more! more""

Dance, dance, dance
like you got ants in your pants

Itching in the kitchen
itching in the hall

Itching all over
from my feet to my skull

Itching little buggers
itching litte bugs

Ants, ants, ants
in my pants

So, why do we say that, "You got ants in your pants?"  It's like you can't sit still.

I'm sort of like that.  I like to stay busy, doing stuff, taking pictures, working.  I have trouble sitting down for any period of time.

I guess the "ants in your pants" line also means you're just acting weird. Huh, am I acting weird?  Creepy?  Ah, not really.

Enjoy the small things in life.  Be easily entertained and life passes much more merrily.

Jimmyjumpnjive April 2012