funny sign be careful ed

Hey, Ed, Watch Your Step, Man.

Don't you wish life was this easy?  Just as you are about to do something stupid, silly or dangerous, a sign will pop up and warn you not to do it.  Like Ed's sign shown here.

Let's just call them, "Fail Prevention Signs."  But will they work?

Of course, as you're standing at the top of the ski slope, about to ski down, would you really pay much attention to a sign that shows (your name and an arrow pointing at) you slamming into a tree?

How about that sign in the bar that says you name and shows you being pulled over for a DUI.

How about that sign on the wall in your girlfriend's bedroom.  Yeah, your name pointing to your girlfriend's pregnant stomach.

No, life frequently does not give you warning signs that you are about to fail, fall or flail.  But what would be the fun of such signs ... so that we can all play it safe and not have any fun?  Geez ... if these signs existed and we followed them, what would our friends have to laugh at?

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

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the Eastwood conspiracy theory

Is Clint Eastwood off his rocker

or was he just goofing on the Republicans?

HEY, IT'S STILL OKAY TO DIG ON CLINT!

He's a "stealth democrat."

The pundits at Dog Party! have been pumping up a rumor (that is quickly transitioning to full blown conspiracy theory status) that Clint Eastwood pulled the world's biggest goof on the Republican Party.

The full theory is that Dirty Harry was a wolf in the hen house -- a secret Democratic plant -- sent by the liberal Hollywood left to wipe his butt on the Republican National Convention.  Nothing else would explain his bizarre speech and lackadaisical attitude at the convention.

Eastwood's fickle political stance has been clearly established over his lifetime.  The 80+ year old is admittedly pro choice and favors marriage equality.  He's a political switch hitter, changing up his politics to promote (and even fundraise for) democrats.  While he may be a fiscal conservative, his liberal stance on several core issues would lead one to believe that if he is really a Republican, his views are more closely aligned with the Democratic Party.

So, what we have here is a "California Republican."  A "Left Coast Conservative."  A "Republican on the Rebound."  Which way is the wind blowing today, Clint?

So, rather than really go hog wild for the right, the long, lean spaghetti western stud phoned it in for the Republicans.  And, really, what did they expect?  

You want a true Republican?  You have to get away from the West Coast to find one ... you might even have to go as far as Utah or Wisconsin.

Image/caricature by Flickr member Donkeyhotey.  This photograph was thereafter altered by Jimmyjumpnjive as allowed for in accordance with a Creative Commons License Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0.  Future use of this image is allowed under the same Creative Commons license with attribution due to Donkeyhotey as modified by Jimmyjumpnjive.  Peace and love.  Remember to laugh.

Donkeyhotey is an independent visual artist, seeking a steady gig.  More of Donkeyhotey’s work can be found at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/donkeyhotey/

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Here's a photo from the late 1950's ... back when the old fart was a young fart.  This is a public domain publicity still from Eastwood's acting in a television show called, "Rawhide."  Check out Mister Angel Eyes.

Fly Boy Tries Health Food

One day Fly Boy was cruising the neighborhood.  He saw some bees buzzing the flowers and taking pollen.

"Hey," yelled Fly Boy.  "Is that stuff any good?"

"Of course it's good," the bees told him.  "It's the healthiest food on Earth and it's super tasty."

"Health food."  Fly Boy said this to himself with a note of sarcasm.  Fly Boy hated health food.  What next colonics and vitamin supplements?  Fly Boy turned to fly away.

"Where you think you're going?" asked the biggest of the Bees, as he flexed his bee muscles and pointed his stinger at Fly Boy.  "Eat some pollen first."

"Uh, sure," said Fly Boy, trying to be cool.  "Yeah, pollen is great stuff, yeah."

It tasted like dirt mixed with cheese and chalk.  Fly Boy struggled to choke it down.  "What I wouldn't give for some fermented Yak urine," Fly Boy thought to himself.

"How you liking that pollen?" asked the bees.

"Gak!" replied Fly Boy.  It might be healthy for bees, Fly Boy thought to himself, but no manly fly would eat this stuff on a daily basis.  

"My best to your queen," yelled Fly Boy.  Under his breath he muttered, "I hope she chokes on it."

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

This blog, the photos contained herein and all words, captions or descriptions, is a blatant attempt at humor.   Concepts such as truth or reality are not allowed to conflict with punchlines.    Please accept that this is a humor blog created with the intent of entertaining people.  If you find what I said offensive today, you might agree wholeheartedly with me tomorrow.

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