Sunday, March 31, 2013

Four lumps of sugar to go, please


"Four lumps of sugar to go, please." The policeman said to the Barista.
"I'm sorry, sir," the young coffee slinger responded, "but our lumps of sugar are for paying customers only and ..."
"Yeah, yeah," the policeman responded, putting his hand in front of the Barista's face. "...and not for police horses."
For a silent moment, the policeman looked at the lumps of sugar.  The Barista looked at the sugar, then back at the policeman.  
"Uh, sir?" said the Barista.  On the street a horse could be heard, neighing nervously.
The policeman's trigger finger twitched.  The Barista sighed.  
Like a cobra strike, the police officer grabbed the lumps of sugar and ran out of the coffee shop.
"Uh, what was it again?" asked the Barista, looking around for a second, after the police man had cleared the premises. "Are we supposed to call the police on the police or just on everybody else?"
"Dudes," the old wise man said.  "Call animal control."
In the distance could be heard the sounds of horses hooves, clapping the Earth like there were better places to be right then.


Saturday, March 30, 2013

It's okay, my beautiful bunny!

Fluffee was feeling somewhat glum that afternoon.  
"It's okay, beautiful bunny," called the woman's voice.
"We love you and we want you to have fun, Mister Bunny Rabbit."  "It's time to run agility!"

Mike McKenzie 2013

I'm a happy bunny rabbit


"I got it good," Mr. Peepers thought to himself.  
"I'm a happy bunny rabbit."

Friday, March 29, 2013

My Dog Did What?



I was talking to my homies on my cell phone.  
I was at the dog park.  I got a little bit carried away.  
Perhaps I was a bit loud. 
A bunch of people were headed over to me.
"Uh, it's about your dog," said the guy in the blue parka.
"That's not my dog.  I don't own a dog," I shouted at them.
Click photo for the Red Dog Playlist
I made a bee-line for the exit, hoping my dog would meet me there.  But I ended up cornered near the poop bag dispenser.
"We've been watching you," said this like mousy chick with yellow waterproof boots.  "We're concerned."
I began to punch the digits for my lawyer into the cell phone.
"It's about your dog..."
 "What dog?"  I asked them.
Click the photo to watch Doggy Dress Up Playlist
They all stood there.  A dozen or more of them.   Various walks of life all unified in their shock and outrage.  All them directing their attention at me.

Click photo to watch Zoozoo's Playlist
"Make it stop. Your dog is frightening my children!" said this tired looking lady in an unflattering grey sweatsuit.
My dog did what?  "Zoozoo," I shouted.  "CAR!  NOW!"
Our car was pelted with rocks as I skidded the tires on my way out.
"What the hell was their problem?" Zoozoo asked me later in the car on the way home."I don't know," I told her.  "It was like they had never seen a talking dog before."

Mike McKenzie 2013

Sunday, March 24, 2013

All this stuff went to Goodwill

Cleaned out the garage.  Took all the baseball bats, helmets and balls and mitts to the Goodwill.  My kids are grown up and I am so old I can't even throw or catch a baseball any more.  I hope a bunch of kids get this stuff and go nuts with it.  Peace and love and play ball.  Mike McKenzie 2013